last night
i cried in my dream

which sounds poetic
(& possibly is) -

there was this black man,
like james baldwin:

he had humour & laughter:
took me under his wing

i had this sense of someone
really knowing me

i felt the touch of the avuncular

when i left him, i thanked him
for being such a good educator,
& began to cry:

he smiled his huge smile,
put his arms around my shoulders

i said 'from someone my age,
i just wanted to tell you i appreciate the
care you have given me'

i awoke suddenly into the
waking reality,
so that my nascent cry was stunted
stopped cold in its tracks

i was left with the warmth of
what it must feel like to have a mentor

& a coldness to know what
i have been missing
to fill that certain void
within me

ii.
sketches of the song:

the time to leave
was at hand

my heart slowed
& palpitated

we strolled silently

nothing more needed to be said

it was time to go it alone.